yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize