is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
