Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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