i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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