Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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