This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
