Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
