two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just invented taco cereal.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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