It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize