I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
