Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
