Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
