I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
