I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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