I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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