Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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