Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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