No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
