Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
