i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
