Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize