She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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