Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
And then he peed in my hair
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
