new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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