What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
