Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
