apparently the secret to your success is patron
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
