I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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