just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
