How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
