It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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