So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
