If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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