a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
