Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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