Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
