I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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