happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
