I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can I color on your dick again?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
