Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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