Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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