i just had sex bonerless
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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