sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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