that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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