well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just high enough for therapy.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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