Having a random hookup so left but love u
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
