Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
