You really coming over, don't trick.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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