omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
