I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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