hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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