i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
