Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
