This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
