so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
