I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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