we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
