There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize