how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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