We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
