She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
