i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
