I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
