Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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